The Score That Was Heard Around The World.

Team Of Week

Beyond Super.

What the (insert your own profanity here) is going on!?! How can a man move forward in his life when everything he knew to be true has been ripped from his very soul. Its week 5 and the Super Swedes have just dumped all over Yoda from Wales, ripping that leek sabre from the green ones paws and sticking it where the twin suns of Tatooine don't shine.

QB Romo, 34.14pts. WR White 19.10pts, TE Lewis 17.40pts. All and that and more added up to 142.94 total pts. That's the third highest score this year! Are you kidding me? This win has blown the league wide open like a TIE missile hitting the heart of the Death Star. If the Swedes can beat Yoda then logic dictates they can beat anyone and all of this on the back of an 0-3 start. They have brought hope to the chasing pack. A chasing pack that's not even chasing any-more. Week 6 can't come quick enough for this reporter. Can Yoda regain his balance against the Rook? Will the Swedes take down the impressive 79FC? Yoda. Beaten. And no one saw that coming!

(NB - “Get the doctor quick. I think I must have drunk too much sea water. Swedes to end Yoda’s perfect season and give hope to the rest of the League!” Week 5 Preview – Carl & Bob.)

Luckiest Team Of The Week

Fact.

I don't what they are drinking down at the Hairy Frog Disco but I'm damn sure it ain't legal. With the teams 17millon dollar QB on a bye and the admittedly impressive Steelers D also sitting this one out the Disco Head Coach was forced to go to the waiver wire. Having left his changes ridiculously late due to excessive partying, QB Hills and the Bears D were pretty much all that was left and wouldn't you just know it the Disco luck out once again as the replacements combine for 58.98pts. Class clown WR Ochocinco managed a mighty 2pts, WR Driver 5.80pts and RB Wells 4.00pts. That's 3 players for a total of 11.80pts. But that's not going to stop the leagues luckiest team, not when the Colts decided this is the week when field goals will do just fine and Houston let WR Nicks just stand in the endzone to catch touchdown after touchdown. For the Royales RB Rice had a breakout day and QB Rivers continues to deliver the fantasy goods. But when your up against the kind of dark magic that the Disco have been weaving this season what chance do you have? This result combined with Yoda defeat means that the Disco have just become legit.

A Contradiction In Terms

Fast forward to the seasons end for the Lottery.

A Lottery – defined as any happening or process that is or appears to be determined by chance. Then tell me how a team that loses week in week out can be determined by chance. A losing team can only be determined by one thing and that's a lousy Coach. When you consider the team name they sure are showing a lack of balls. 79FC had this one won before their D had even taken the field. At 0-5 all the Lottery have to look forward to is a battle with Fear Factory for next years number one pick. 79FC on the other hand could have a shiny new trophy to look forward to as they continue to impress. With QB Manning failing to throw for a zillion yards for the first time this season in a field goal fest against the Chiefs WR Lloyd stepped forward to deliver a career day and 28.50pts. As is the way with 79FC the rest of the team produced solid performances doing enough to chalk up another W. They are the only team so far this season not to succumb to the Disco's voodoo and as such may well be the favourites to take the leagues toughest division. One thing is for sure, no one needs to remind 79FC that but for 0.64pts they would now be a perfect 5-0.

The Best Worst Team In The League

Is it all over for Tttaylor?

Ttttaylor continue to be tttterrible. The Leagues pre-season favourites are responsible for so many ripped up betting slips that they could be used in this season ticker tape parade for the winners. Who will those winners be? Yoda? 79FC? The Luckiest Team? It's still any ones title at this stage. Anyone's expect Tttaylor (and the Lottery and the Factory but you already knew that.) Yep, that's rights, I, David Marrs hereby write off Ttttaylors chances for the season. It's true Week 5 was a tough loss but when QB Kolb starts for Philly you might as well bench WR Jackson. By contrast this was a big win for the Baptists and puts them back in the hunt for that solitary play-off berth. Eyebrows where raised when the two time winner of bad call of the week elected to leave QB McNabb on the bench and start the second year Jets QB Sanchez but huge weeks for RB Forte 33.80pts and WR Flloyd 32.30pts rendered the decision academic.

Rock 'n' French Roll

The Bones did indeed rock.

The Bone Rocks served up a much need win to halt a two game slide against a French Leader team that was looking for their third straight W. It was a performance out of the 79FC play book for the Bones as each squad member delivered a rock solid performance. They currently sit in the second tier of CNFLEII, a team with enough quality to reach the play offs but not enough to go beyond. The same can be applied to the Leader who will be disappointed but not heartbroken with this result. As all our teams travel along the road towards possible fantasy glory there are going to be down weeks (just ask Yoda) but in a league as competitive as this one, those down weeks are going to cost you.

The Return Of Rookie Watch

The Rooks watch.

After throwing last weeks game against the Luckiest Team the Rook decided to turn up to his match up against the Factory. Despite a bout of nerves brought about by late changes to his team the retooled Bench Warmers duly delivered the Rooks fourth win of the season. The Bench Warmers are one of leagues lowest scoring teams (even the Lottery can boast a better points return) but they continue to beat what's put in front of them.

For the Factory that no-one fears they remain on course for the nightmare that is imperfect season. Coach Botond continues to shuffle his pack in an attempt to find that elusive royal flush but keeps coming up with nothing but jokers.

Bench Of The Week

79FC makes all the right moves leaving a paltry 1.80pts on the bench.

Bad Call Of The Week

The Lottery Head Coach.  Clearly a fool.

The Lottery Coach needs a slap around the head for starting TE Olsen for a Cutlerless Bears. Olsen delivered a big fact zero whilst TE Witten posted a seasons best 14.40pts from the bench.

Luckiest Good Call Of The Week

The Disco stick a pin in the waiver wire and come up with Hills, the Bears D and 58.98pts. Don't be surprised if the Head Coach finds that winning Euro Millions ticket stuffed down the back of his sofa.

Vasco De Gama CNFLE II official bookmaker.

Yoda From Wales 2/5

Seventy Nine FC 3/1

The Hairy Frog Disco 4/1

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers 5/1

Royal with TD’s 6/1

The Bone Rocks 6/1

French Leader 6/1

Bryants Baptists 12/1

Super Swedes 12/1

Ttttaylor 14/1

Its A Lottery 28/1

Fear Factory 33/1

And so a  momentus week 5 is in the bag. 

Read all about Week 6 before it even happens with Carl and Bob this Saturday.

The W is out there.

David Marrs.