There Can Be Only One.

Cries of a fix go up.

The Toilet Bowl.  It Promised.  It Delivered.

With the first silverware of the season up for grabs both coaches demanded nothing less from their respective teams than one final poor performance.  In the early games it appeared that the Lottery wanted this one more with QB Brees leading the way with a masterful performance throwing interception after interception.  Every pick ensured that Saints and Lottery WR Moore returned to the bench scoreless, a real result for Coach Andy and in a true stroke of genius the shock inclusion of the Rams D ensured a low return on both the offensive and defensive sides of the ball.
Things were not looking so positive for the Factory.  Their Bears D was busy sacking and intercepting and worse of all scoring a touchdown!  A 23pts return for the Factory D  had left Coach Botond in a big hole.  Then out of nowhere Brees starts hurling touchdown bombs and before you could say 'the Browns won?!?' 21.24pts had been registered for the Lotteries QB.  Just when the Factory thought they had a chance more bad news came their way when Big Ben chimed in with a huge 25.18pts, the only chink of light being the loss of a TD on a challenge late in the game.  

Moving into the late Sunday fixtures and the Lottery trailed by a comfortable 20pts, hopefully WR Harvin would continue his poor form.  Disaster.  The Vikings use Harvin on a trick play and he goes in from 12 yards for the score.  Late in the second half Harvin goes in for a second time but a challenge renders Harvin TD invalid and Lottery fans everywhere can breathe again.  For the Factory RB Mathews and WR Moss where remaining as anonymous as in they had done in the previous 6 winless weeks.  Then came one of the games defining moments.   Factory RB Moreno runs in a couple  TD's in quick succession!  Moreno finishes the game with a 21pts haul.  Coach Botond can't believe his bad luck.  QB Big Ben 25.18pts, the Bears D 23pts and RB Moreno 21pts, in this of all weeks!  

The Lottery where almost there, the Toilet Bowl so close their players could smell it.  Heading into the Monday night game the Factory could only hope that WR Smith (not that one the other one!) would fall to an early injury.  Even then he would be reliant on the Lotteries star WR Austin failing to repeat his spectacular Week 6 return of 1.2 pts and pray TE Witten would deliver another TD free display.  Within the opening minutes of Monday night the Giants turned the ball over and Witten found himself in the endzone the ball in his hands.  Was there still hope for the Factory?  Could they yet lose this game and in doing so claim the Bowl?
With both coaches prowling the touchlines the game then delivered the Lotteries and Romo's big break.  The Dallas QB's collarbone snapped, Austin and Witten had no-one to throw them the ball and the Lottery were home and dry!  To make matters worse for the Facory WR Smith went on to post a 1TD, 101 yd game for 19.10pts.  Indeed the Factories final total of 127.98pts was way in excess of anything that they had produced in the previous six weeks.
Post match the Lottery Head Coach, sitting upon the Toilet Bowl praised his players.  "I just want to thank all the players for their efforts over the last couple of days.  It's not the first time we've broken 100pts this season but thankfully on each and every occasion its not been enough and our reward, just like our season, stinks."  

 Big Mo's Favourite Team Of The Week.

Sweden.  Really quite cold.

The Swedes make it four on the spin and for the first time this season can boast a positive 4-3 record. A solid performance from their RB duo plus a frankly ridiculous 37.10pts haul from WR White means this one was never even close. The Swedes have a lot going for them, beautiful countryside, low house prices and the inventor of the sat nav but right now the best thing they have is momentum. With one of the strongest benches in the league the Swedes are beginning to look like a genuine threat. WR Branch is a good pick up despite returning only 3.90pts and RB Torain is making a stronger case for his inclusion in the starting line up with every passing week. Sweden looks like the place to be right about now.

Over is France we have riots. You may have heard that this is due to unrest in the public sector but in truth the fickle French public have lost patience with their leader and his outrageous team selection. The Leader entered this match up with the league fourth highest points total overall but only the third highest in his division. The Leader has a brutal schedule over the next few weeks. They may have the same 4-3 record as the Swedes but one team is in the ascendancy and one is clearly in decline.  

Big Mo's Second Favourite Team Of The Week.

The Swedes have a lot going for them, beautiful countryside, low house prices and the inventor of the sat nav but right now the biggest things they have is momentum. Yep, Swede number 2, Head Coach Lars and his Boney Rocks withstood the Disco Voodoo to move to an impressive 5-2. The Rocks seem to have fully recovered from their confidence draining defeat to Yoda and handed the Disco their heaviest defeat of the season so far. Whilst some argued this should have been our game of the week in truth it was a drab affair with the Rocks keeping the Disco at arms length throughout. It may have gone unnoticed by some readers by the Disco's form has been shaky of late. Single digit returns have been appearing all over their roaster. Have the Disco used up all their magic? I for one am predicting an 7-7 finish for the once proud Frogs.

79FC. Shouldn't They Be Crap?

79FC?

79FC chalked up the W with a RB to spare despite a worrying slow start. Still, before the 5-2 79ers start to feel too smug they should take into account they triumphed over the leagues lowest score of the week, lower than both the Lottery and the Factory. Indeed with the Factories first W signed, sealed and very much delivered the Baptists only have the leagues laughing stock stopping them from securing next years number one pick. For the 79ers this win moves them to the top of their division.  So why can't I take them seriously? They simply shouldn't be where they are. Their biggest score this week was delivered by Seahawks D! It just doesn't make any sense. Once you take Manning out of the starting line up they don't have a single decent player and yet still they stand 5-2. They are consistent, they are solid, they are unfashionable. But they are winners.

Look Who's Back.

Yoda's back.

They say you can judge a true champion by how they respond in the face of defeat. With a bad case of bye fever Yoda still beat up on Royale with TD's with relish. If WR White's 37.10pts was ridiculous then what can be said of WR Britt's 45.50pts! That's right, WR Britt, you know Britt, he plays for the Titans, how could all you coaches have missed him in the draft? So huge kudos to Yoda for a masterful selection. Ofcourse if we've talking kudos then one man above all others should take all the plaudits for this victory and that man is me. Yes, it was your very own David Marrs that rattled the green ones cage with a torrent of ridicule that has clearly awoken Yoda from his two game slump.

Royale now stand at 3-4 and are slipping behind in the playoff race. 3 games behind their division leader its a wildcard or bust for this star packed franchise. Week 8 sees the visit of the 79ers and a defeat here would leave them looking forward only to mid table mediocrity.

The Unexplained.

As a researcher into the hidden history of our planet I've come across more than my fair share of inexplicable mysterious but perhaps the most perplexing phenomenon that I've ever been faced with is the fact that the rookie is now 6-1. In a run of good fortune that even the Disco would be proud of no team has had fewer points score against them than the Bench Warmers. They have had perhaps the softest schedule of any team to the half way point and display a laissez faire attitude to team selection with replacements often selected just hours before kick off. Then again, they have beaten Yoda. This week the Bench Warmers took care of the leagues officially 'most disappointing' team in the guise of Ttttaylor. Ttttaylor reaches the midway point with a 2-5 record which is almost exactly as unlikely as the Bench Warmers being 6-1. But those are the facts. I just print them.

Bench Of The Week.

The French Leader leaves a league record 85.52pts on the bench, that's more than he left on the field!

Good Call.

Yoda.  Britt.  Nuff said.

Bad Call.

I refer you to bench of the week.

Vasco De Gama CNFLE II official bookmaker.

Yoda from Wales Evens

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers 2/1

Bone Rocks 3/1

Seventy Nine FC 3/1

Royale with TD’s3 /1

Super Swedes 3/1

French Leader4/1

Hairy Frog Disco 5/1

Bryants Baptists 12/1

Ttttaylor 15/1

Fear Factory 40/1

It's A Lottery 40,000,000/1

And with that we enter the second half of the season. In just 8 short weeks time we will know which four teams will occupy the playoffs spots. But if you can't wait that long I can now reveal that those four teams will be...divisional winners Bench Warmers, Yoda, and 79FC with the wildcard taken by the Super Swedes.

I'm off to Wembley to post a special report on the spellbounding Halloween matchup between the Bronocs and 49ers.

Don't forget to check back for the Week 8 preview with fans favourite Carl and Bob.

Look to skies.

David Marrs.