Falling apart at the seams - Week 10 Preview

Guess who’s back, yes we’re back... yes we’re back, guess who’s back, yes we’re back... shady’s back.....

Here’s the skinny, Bob & Carl, sitting in Hooters, full to the brim of cheap liquor ran their mouths off to the Ed about Colt McCoy being the saviour of the Browns, cast out lewd comments to their hot panted servers and were promptly arrested by a pair of upstanding British bobbies. Had it coming I guess.

Lewd comments.  Unnecessary.

 Bond, confused by recent events surrounding the unexpected recovery of the top secret information on the lost USB, was last seen accosting a young feller me lad with CND patches on his camouflaged jacket who allegedly ‘wouldn’t turn the tch tch tch down on his personal stereogram / radiogram thingy’. He has not been seen since. Rumour has it Bond then went to Wembley for the UK Bowl sporting a Cowboys jersey and, disguised in horn rimmed glasses, verbally abused several members of the Broncos team as they returned to the dressing room at the half before fleeing the scene dressed as a cheerleader, however those rumours are as yet unsubstantiated. Doctors are extremely worried. Please do not try to engage in any form of social interaction if you see anyone bearing this description.

Bond?

So it’s back to basics for this week 10 preview, and some would say thank goodness for that. No more of this tenuously linked storytelling. No sirree, its class ‘A, top dollar football punditry all the way from here on in.....

Honest.

Game of the Week.

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers v It’s A Lottery

Manning.  No, not that one!

A grudge match of sorts, it’s the Rookie who keeps tearing up the formbook against the grumpy old underachieving Commish. The Riggins boys have won the last five straight to sit pretty at the top of the rankings at 8 & 1, the Lottery have finally buried their hoodoo and won the last two with impressive scores. Although it’s perhaps a bit late for the Lottery this year they could yet do some damage to the Bench Warmers title aspirations.

Riggins policy of rotating Cutler and Manning Jnr is paying off with big dividends. This week they plump for Manning who will light it up against the Cowboys despite the sacking of Uncle Wade. With all the time in the world Eli will pick holes in a soft secondary who are playing for the beach already. The Lottery have their No. 1 pick, Brees, on a bye this week so will rely on the oldest gunslinger in town this week to steer the Lottery, Favre’s matchup is favourable against the Bears, however his arm is not what it was. Edge : Riggins.

Despite ditching both their drafted backs, the Lottery has a solid running game in Hillis and Tomlinson. Interestingly for some, they both face off against each other and Coach Elliott will be hoping for a run first ask questions later sort of game, and as both the Jets & Browns have serviceable pass defences it is a distinct possibility. The running game has been the Achilles heel for the Riggins boys this year. Stewart, Spiller, Portis have all gone by the wayside. Jones in Kansas has been a relative success but is now losing carries to the more elusive Charles. Taylor fills in at number 2 after a decent performance last week. As a 3^rd down back, coming out in the backfield he has limited value but could end up with 40 yards and a Td which will be all that can be expected. Edge : Lottery

Andre Johnson will cause a points riot against Jacksonville, Wayne will burn Houston and Hines Ward has fantasy relevance now that Big Ben is booming out the chimes again. It all looks good for the Bench Warmers in the receiving corps this week. Look for 50 points plus here, minimum. Despite recent improvement, the Lottery still have problems in this department. Harvin’s recent good production did not drop off as expected following the loss of Moss, and may get some looks against a Bears secondary. Watch out for the old ‘Gator’ end around this week. Crabtree is starting to look like the real deal at last and a matchup against the Rams should yield a high return. Austin however is a problem. With Kitna at the helm he is merely a bit part player in the Cowboy’s offence, and has had only one red zone look since Romo went down. Its a case of ‘Romo, Romo where for art thou Romo?’ for the Lottery. Edge : Bench Warmers

Austin’s malaise is Witten’s bonus as Kitna has discovered that what a great safety valve the Pro Bowl TE is for da Pokes. For Riggins boys Gonzo already played in the Thursday night game and scored a meagre 3.9 points which given the performance of Matt Ryan was a poor return. Edge : Lottery

With the sack happy Packers on a bye this week, Coach Andy relies again on his Rams defence. They have a decent matchup against the 49ers, trouble is for the Lottery that every Crabtree yard will hurt his own team. It is always a dilemma. Luckily for the Lottery the Bench Warmers D is also on a bye. The final decision on the replacement this week has yet to be confirmed, but with the Lions and Eagle defences still available on the waiver wire I would suggest that the Bench warmers may be okay this week. Edge : Lottery

Despite having the edge in three departments, the two key areas of difference this week will be the scale of the Manning haul against the Cowboys and the trio of receivers for the Bench Warmers. All the points will come from these four players, and no matter what Lottery do, the fates have decided this year that Riggins will win by 3 no matter how well the opponent fares. We pick the Lottery’s recent revival to end in tears.

Verdict – Riggins by 3

Ttttaylor v Seventy Nine FC

The Panthers. Hapless.

Pre season favourites Tttttaylor found some form again last week to take down a flailing Disco. After finally getting some love from the press, Seventy Nine FC put up their worst performance of the season and flopped against the Bench Warmers. If Tttttaylor can win this one then they are back in the wild card mix, Seventy Nine will want to win to cement their position at the top of the weakest division.

Already 10 points to the good from kicker Matt Bryant, the Vick & D-Jack tandem will be crucial to the Ttttaylor success. Chris Johnson is to get back on track against the Dolphins run D, and Lewis will score heavily against Houston.

Lloyd is back for Seventy Nine, and after the bye week should post a healthy score although he has a tough matchup against the Chiefs backs. Best is back for the Lions but may split carries, Blount is looking like the go to guy in the Bucs backfield and could post a massive score against the hapless Panthers.

Verdict : Ttttaylor by 10

Yoda From Wales v Royale With TD’s

T.O.  This seasons highest scoring fantasy WR.

After a mid season blip from the Yoda, the force is back and they are looking like the team to beat once more. French Leader have dropped four straight and need to win this one if they are to have any chance of making it through to the playoffs. The French have already burnt two players for 17 points due to the Thursday night game.

Foster, Peterson and Owens all feature for the Yoda this week and will all contribute. Shaub has a good matchup as well against the Jaguars, and we even like Brandon Marshall to post 15 points against a Titans ‘D’. Look for 130 points plus this week for the Green wizard.

There is work to do in Paris this week. Orton needs to have a blinder and McCoy needs to run the Eagles offence this week for the Leader to have any chance. Too much to do this week, I fear. Zoot alors!

Verdict : Yoda by 17

Fear Factory v Super Swedes

Tracking the Swedes season.

Following revelations that Fear factory only fielded six players last week, the question is, have we finally had our first coaching casualty of the season? If ever there was a good time to forget to put in your star receiver before the Thursday night kick off then a matchup against the Factory would be that week. But could it be a schoolboy error that ultimately costs the Swedes their dream of playoff glory?

Smith is out, but that still leaves eight fit players this week for the Factory. Buffalo’s Steve Johnson has become a viable fantasy option and we think will do well in a shootout against Detroit. Marion Barber makes a return to fantasy football relevance with the appointment of Jason Garrett as Dallas headcoach. Moss of Randy fame to come in at the eleventh hour and go for 100yds and a TD?

With the omission of White, Charles and Mojo will hold the keys to the Volvo convertible this week. The loss of Romo has been mitigated a little by the trade for Fitzpatrick and he will produce big numbers again this week. It will be a close run thing, but ‘White-gate’ could prove the difference

Verdict : Factory by 6

The Bone Rocks v Royale with Td’s

With the score at 34-10 (ish) after Thursday night, this is now an eight v eight match. The Rocks still occupy the wild card spot at this time, but with 3 tough divisional matchups in the upcoming weeks they will want to make sure they take as much from the next couple of matches as possible. Royale posted a monster score last week and as everyone knows, if you can get some momentum going into the playoffs then anything can happen.

Gore and Davis return for the Niners after their Wembley triumph and subsequent bye week, and will relish the matchup against the Rams. Megatron will go beserk against Buffalo and is the ‘start of the week’ as far as we are concerned. 150 yards and multiple TD’s as the Lions won’t shake off the Bills in a high scoring thriller.

Starting running back Rice underwhelmed leaving Royale a little short, and with Rivers replaced by Garrard, the QB position is not as strong either. Bradshaw will run all day against the hapless Cowboys. Close, but no cigar

Verdict : Bone by 14

Bryants Baptists v The Hairy Frog Disco

Big week for the Steelers D?

Bryants Boys came into the season full of hope, full of dreams, however they now sit ranked 11^th after dropping their fourth straight loss. The silver lining this week however is they are facing a Disco whose early season form is just a faded memory, who are in a real mess with at least half of their squad questionable or not practising. Something has to give as the Disco have dropped three straight and are in real danger of ending the season with a losing record for the first time.

Hmmm, Mendenhall might score well and Sanchez could do okaaayyyy, and thats about it. Steve Smith is a non entity and the Panthers D? It looks tough for the Baptists, Carlson could get double digits against the Cards.

With Turner already done and Brady a questionable start against the Pittsburgh defence this week, Wells still gimpy from his injection allergy, Evans and Ochocinco banged up, Portis still making his way back it’s all hands to the pump this week for the desperate Disco. Shaun Hill won’t let the side down this week and Nicks will have to have a multiple TD game. Steelers to rampage? Ultimate Sleeper of the week, Mike Goodson, who?

Verdict : Disco by 6

With four games left after this week, things are really starting to take shape. All but the Baptists, Lottery and Factory are not yet out of it, and the results from week 9 brought Ttttaylor and Royale back into the mix.

Wins this week for Riggins, Ttttaylor, Yoda, Factory, Disco and the Boners however will see the Riggins boys almost playoff bound and the wild card spot in the hands of the runner up in division two. It’s still all to play for but the Swedes, Royale and Ttttaylor might now need a minor miracle to make it through.

Yoda from Wales 4/7

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers 2/1

Bone Rocks 3/1

Seventy Nine FC 3/1

Hairy Frog Disco 6/1

Ttttaylor 10/1

Super Swedes 10/1

French Leader 16/1

Royale With Td’s 25/1

Bryants Baptists 100/1

It’s A Lottery 200/1

Fear Factory 250/1

Anyone wish to bet a couple of Carltons* on who might be the winner? (Please bet responsibly).

Good luck for the week 10 gentlemen.

Ed

* A Carlton is the imaginary currency of the CNFLE II. Each Coach starts with an credit account of 10 Carltons that they can use over the course of the season on hypothetical wagers without damaging the ‘real life’ finances unduly.