The Clock Is Ticking - Week 11 Preview

The Clock Is Ticking - Week 11 Preview

‘Guilty’ bellowed the Right Honourable Judge Julius Peppers, banging his ancient gavel on the oak framed bench of the Nottingham High Court. ‘Take them down please Sheriff, take them down’, Carl and Bob looked solemnly at each other.

‘Beeeeeeg Eeeeeeeshew’ implored the bearded vagabond formerly known as Bond, ‘Beeeeeeg Eeeeeeeeshew’. The three legged pooch snoozing on Bond’s winter warming blanket in the doorway of Debenhams drowsily looked up. The public passed on by, oblivious to the former CIA, MI5 agent deep, deep, deep undercover.

‘It is done’ purred the delectable Tatania, into the flip top Motorola as perched on the end of the ruffled four poster, she elegantly slipped the first of her silk stockings over her perfectly smooth and delightfully proportioned limb.

‘Das is gut’, replied the shadow lurking in the nightmares of Bob and Carl.

After ten weeks of preening, posturing and prancing, we have reached the money end of the season as the second round of divisional games is upon us. With only three teams definitely out of the mix there is so much left to play for. Be warned however dear reader, it is entirely possible that all nine ‘live’ teams will still be marching strong come the conclusion of the weekends fixtures and we will all be none the wiser!

Game of the Week.

Yoda from Wales v Ttttaylor

"Fly Eagles fly, on the road to vic-tor-y!"

After the first round of divisional matches were complete, Yoda were sitting pretty unbeaten at the summit of Division two, whilst pre season favourites Ttttaylor were struggling at 1 and 2. Seven weeks on it’s time for the divisional rivalries to recommence and in that time Yoda and Ttttaylor have both won four and dropped three. This is the week where we find out whether Yoda is who we thought he was, or whether Ttttaylor was ttttoying with us all along.

Yoda has had relative success at the QB slot all season, and is favouring Matt Cassell over the early season signal caller Matt Shaub at this current time, however, whoever he selects will be playing second fiddle in this game to Ttttaylor’s top man, Mr Vick. Acquired in a preposterous trade for an LT who is now running on fumes, there is no-one hotter in the league right now, and the sixty points acquired last week for his six touchdown performance was a season record for an individual player tally. Don’t expect the same again this week, but how can anyone stop this guy now that he has become a pocket passer as well as keeping up his road runner impersonations! Edge : Ttttaylor

This is a tag team battle of the super heavy weights this week. In the Blue corner we have Arian Foster, sleeper of the season, who has a tough matchup against the Jets and ‘All day’ AP who still keeps churning out the performance week in week out. In the red corner though sit last years fantasy superstar CJ who found it tough sledding early season, but seems to have found a bit of form and Cowboys back Felix Jones who has become fantasy relevant again in the hard nosed Jason Garrett offence that surprised everyone last week. This pick must be based on the matchups and Washington and the Lions sound a bit softer to us than the Pack and the Jets. Edge : Ttttaylor

Injuries have blighted recent wideout performances for Yoda with Austin Collie struggling and Sidney Rice still unable to suit up. What with Brandon Marshall limping out of the Thursday night matchup with a hamstring strain after only scoring four points, the heat is on unproven Anthony Armstrong and the evergreen top fantasy wide receiver, T.O. to claw back some much needed points. Armstrong has a tough matchup against the Titans though. D-Jacks love affair with the Vick-meister has strengthened Ttttaylors hand in the receiving corps. Dez Bryant’s promotion to favourite target for the limited Kitna, and Mike Wallace’s emergence as a legitimate target for Big Ben suggest that things are looking rosy in this department for the Ttttaylor gang. Edge : Ttttaylor

No Antonio Gates! That’s the story here. Yoda bring in Brandon Pettigrew who is a decent substitute and has a good matchup this week against a weak Cowboys pass D. Ttttaylor have acquired the surprise package Marcedes Lewis, who after a few years of underachievement is now looking like the fantasy star we thought he might be. We prefer the Lion’s matchup however Edge : Yoda

Nul points. Thats how many Miami kicker Carpenter contributed this week after Miami were shut out on Thursday. So for Yoda it’s the Jets D (facing up against their own Arian Foster (never a good situation for a team)) against the Chiefs and Matt Bryant. Although the Jets are the better defensive unit, we like the fact the Chiefs face up against an error ridden Cards offence and especially the odds of two to one against! Edge : Ttttaylor

Injuries are wreaking havoc with Yoda’s push for the post season. Coupled with the fact that they have had poor waiver positions pretty much since the start of the season, the force is starting to look weak. ‘Your powers are weak old man’. Ttttaylor however are now hitting their straps and are building up a head of momentum which, if they make the playoffs, could prove to be unstoppable. The trouble is, have they left it too late?

Verdict – Ttttaylor by tttten

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers v Royale with TD’s

The Rook.  One defeat all season.

The math is simple for the Riggins boys, win two from four and they’re in no matter what happens. If they win this one, and the Swedes lose this week against the Baptists then they’re also in. For Royale, the bell has rung at the last chance saloon. It’s win or bust.

Questions in the receiving corps have prompted a less than confident press release from the Bench warmers ‘Uhoh we’re in trouble this week’ was all it relayed. Reverse psychology perhaps as the Riggins mojo just keeps on trucking. How? We’re not sure either. It just keeps happening, so who is to say it won’t do so again this week. No star names, no predictions as it’s all a mystery. Like an old oak tree.

Rivers and Rice are twice as nice this week against the Broncos and Panthers respectively. Look for them to score 25+ points. A resurgent Dwayne Bowe leads an improving receiving corps this week and he should contribute nicely to a strong looking line up with a list of favourable matchups. The Bench warmers will drop this one, but will still make it to the start line for the post season races.

Verdict : Royale by 10

French Leader v Seventy Nine FC

JuJu.  As requested by P.Manning.

Anybody want to win Division 3? Any takers? No? Well, if Seventy Nine FC can manage to overcome the French resistance this week, the odds will be firmly in their favour. If the French can repeat their success of last week then it could be a three way tie at the top of the table with only three weeks to go, and then we are all in the madhouse!

Rodgers will look to do well against his old nemesis Favre, and should give the French a decent platform from which to build. Boldin will be involved early against the Panthers, but may suffer if the Ravens get to far ahead. Welker will be an important target this week for Brady as the Pats face off against the Colts. McFadden could struggle against a Steelers D looking to put things right and the Ravens D will maul the big cats and post a big score.

Will Peyton get his juju back? 7 points last week condemned the Niners to a chastening defeat in the same week that the press finally jumped on their band wagon. The absence of a big name back could prove to be the difference although both Blount and Best could score decently. Much will rest on Brandon Lloyd and Fitzgerald to carry the Niners hopes on their shoulders this week. We will find out whether Tamme (Taylor) is the real deal against a decent Patriots defence.

Verdict : French by 7

Bryants Baptists v Super Swedes

The Baptists new kicker?

Following recent League developments concerning future draft orders, questions have to be asked about the recent Baptists team strategy. No kicker? Losing to a seriously out of form Disco? Consistently the lowest points scorers? Anyone would think that they were aiming for next years number one pick! Notwithstanding the above, the Swede’s challenge lives on. By the skin of their teeth they survive to fight another week. They must win out from here on in to win the division or risk chancing their arm in the scramble for that wild card spot. As it is they stand they are 67 points off that place, and the way things are going it could all come down to that one big week.

Thursday nights fixture proved to be decent for the Baptists with Forte scoring well and Hester contributing a few and sees the Baptist’s take and early lead. It is however difficult to see where else any big points could come from. Colston and Steve Smith (yes, that one) have had poor seasons, Greene has not delivered and has lost carries to LT. With Sanchez as the signal caller and the Panthers D, things do not look good. Not good at all!!

Bringing back Roddy White after his mysterious absence will help the Swedes quest. He will lead the aerial attack again this week. Mojo is quietly going about his business again after a slow start. We like Charles to light it up against the Cards this week and Fitzpatrick to continue to impress as the replacement for the crocked Romo. Swedes to go well this week and reduce the points deficit.

Verdict : Swedes by a zillion

It’s a Lottery v The Bone Rocks

Bones love.

Both teams start even, and we anticipate this game will be a lot closer than one would expect. The Lottery are starting to find a bit of form despite last weeks heartbreaker. The Bone seem to be blowing a bit hot and cold at the moment but currently sit in that wildcard berth. They can afford no slip ups. The pressure is on.

The question on everyone’s lips this week was whether Coach Andy would bring back Brees for Favre. Ahem, are you kidding me? Favre should be benched, dropped, struck off in all league from this point forward and even the Commish and his hapless Lottery can see that. Coming back after the bye Brees will put up monster numbers, the Pack will gun down the oldest gunslinger in town and Hillis will continue to prove he will be worth a high pick next time the draft rolls around.

Coach Lars will be feeling a little exposed and unloved at this time we think. League poster boys Yoda have taken all their limelight and have sat tantalisingly above all season long, and now Ttttaylor is chasing his tail and predicted to steal their way into the playoffs. It’s just not fair!! Where is the Bone love! Let’s not forget that the Bone have scored the third most points overall this year (okay Yoda and Ttttaylor are 1 & 2!) and in Ryan, Gore, Jennings, Davis and especially Megatron they have a stellar line up which would crush most teams before them. Pick any or all of the above to score the points that will do for the Lottery this week. Branch to score 15 points? I will take a Carlton on that I think.

Verdict : Bone by 13

Fear Factory v The Hairy Frog Disco

Are the Disco running scared?

Okay, after seeing off the mighty Baptists last week with a massive 78 point total, the Frogs now face the even mightier Factory whom they meted out rough justice all those weeks ago. There is trouble in the swamp just at the wrong time. The Factory, having finally buried their hoodoo some weeks ago received an official League apology for suggesting they had fired their Coach last week. Coach Botond rang the changes and was rewarded with a hundred point haul in what was however an ultimately futile effort.

Drop Brady... only a fool would do that! So back in he comes this week after the Disco benched him on his most productive week of the season. Go figure. Problems with the much vaunted Steelers D could prove too much to overcome. Nicks leads an infuriatingly inconsistent receiving corps. Brady and Turner will need to be on their game if the Disco are to succeed. What has happened to Keller? Santonio Holmes, thats what! Hopeless. How this team are still in with a shout is beyond us here at Carlton Towers. Black magic weaving its sinister tendrils through the NFL perchance?

The Factory already sit thirty points to the good after the Bears inflicted the first Miami home shut out for forty years. That sort of lead should prove too much for the Disco to overcome with all eight skill players yet to play. However upon closer scrutiny, Big Ben aside, it still looks as if serious points will be hard to come by. There are still question marks about Barber even playing since being fined by Garrett for breaking the Cowboys dress code, Moreno in a pass first offence, and the receiving corps save for Johnson in Buffalo (did we really say that?). A moderate total is predicted for the Factory this week, but still enough to see off a woeful Disco.

Verdict : Factory by 6

This is it then, first came the league set up and scouting, then came the draft. All the hopes and dreams present in those early weeks have been boiled down to this, the home straight, where winners are forged and losers are forgotten.

Wins this week for Ttttaylor, Royale, French Leader, Swedes, Bone and Factory, will see the Riggins boys have to wait another week to clinch Division one, tcan he Bone and Ttttaylor apply a modicum of pressure on the once invincible Yoda and force a three way tie at the top of Division 3? Who will blink first?

Drat, I blinked!

Vasco De Gama CNFLE II official bookmaker.

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers Evens

Yoda from Wales 5/4

Bone Rocks 3/1

Seventy Nine FC 4/1

Ttttaylor 5/1

Super Swedes 6/1

Hairy Frog Disco 6/1

French Leader 6/1

Royale With Td’s 10/1

Anyone wish to bet a couple of Carltons* on who might be the winner? (Please bet responsibly).

Good luck for the week 11 gentlemen.

Ed

* A Carlton is the imaginary currency of the CNFLE II. Each Coach starts with an credit account of 10 Carltons that they can use over the course of the season on hypothetical wagers without damaging the ‘real life’ finances unduly.